So many of us believe that we shouldn’t have anger in the world because it’s the root of all of our problems. That’s not true though, is it?
It’s how we handle it.
Many of us are afraid to feel it because we think that it may take over our lives and turn us into something evil. This is especially difficult for preteens and teenagers because of how hormones affect their ability to manage their emotions.
But it’s a normal emotion and it’s okay to feel it.
Anger is literally, energy that can be transformed into a powerful force. Think of it like a superpower. You can use it to hurt others OR you can use it to create positive change.
When children are hormonal (preteens and teens), many of them tend to react without thinking. This kind of reaction is also true for many young children and adults. This is not because they don’t want to think about it but because many children aren’t taught how to manage their anger; we only tell them to do it. So, today, we’re going to look at some steps that you can use to teach your children right away so that they learn how to manage it. You can use these same steps in your life as well.
Actionable Steps
When your children get upset, teach them to do the following:
When your children get upset, teach them to do the following:
Step 1: Walk away from the situation and find a safe place. If you’re in a classroom or at home, I’ve created a free guide for you about creating a calm down centre using a minimalistic approach. A note of caution if you have or teach older children, instead of calling it a calm down centre, come up with the name together. I also have a blog post to explain how to implement this.
Step 2: Take a few deep belly breaths.
Step 3: Feel the anger by figuring out where in the body it’s residing. Is it in their chest, their throat, their arms? Once we feel the anger, the actual energy starts to dissipate, which then leaves us with our thoughts. The reason we’re doing this is because anger tends to show up in the mind and body. We’re focusing on the body first and then the mind otherwise it’s too much to manage together.
Step 4: Name the emotion that they’re feeling (anger, frustration, or something else), and then figure out what triggered the emotion. What exactly did the person say or do to cause this reaction from them. Sometimes, there’s a specific answer and at other times, it could be a perceived idea, especially when hormones or raging tempers are involved. If the child doesn’t figure out what caused the reaction, their mind will eventually want to make this a bigger deal than it actually is. This would be a good time to have your child write down or draw out their emotions and process what happened. We’ll talk more about this in the membership (See the last section of the blog post for more details).
Step 5: Once the child pinpoints the cause, then it’s always best to remind them to call someone they trust to sort through the emotions because regardless of what we as adults think, these emotions are very real to our children and should be addressed in that manner. While it is good to talk about the anger, it is important to work through it and find a solution
Step 6: Then transform this energy into a positive and loving one. For example, can your child do something to make someone else’s life better? Can they volunteer to help someone in need? Let them know that they don’t have to let the anger consume them. Instead, they can use it to show and embrace love.
A Note for Parents
Please don’t try to control your child’s anger. Because it will only escalate the situation. Help them by giving them by giving them a safe space to feel the emotions, take actions and calm down. As noted above, if you’re looking to create a space for them, I have a freebie guide to help you with that using a minimalistic approach.
Final Thoughts
As you know, so many kids are feeling the effects of the pandemic, and it’s showing up in our home life and classroom. Kids are worried. They’re anxious. They’re acting out. And you’re trying to work on a task or teach your curriculum. But, what if I told you that there’s a way to help kids navigate these big emotions at the same time as making sure you stick to your game plan. What if you didn’t have to choose? What if you could be that safe place for your kids to retreat to? I’m going to show you how, and then I’ll let you into a private community with others, just like you, who are navigating this new parenting and teaching environment. Send me a private message and let’s do this.
Alright friends, thank you so much for joining me. Remember to create, experience and teach from the heart. Take care.
Thank you,
Charlotte
