I had a student who used to throw things, like desks across the room. I’ve also had a student who stabbed another one. That was scary because one moment the child was happy and then suddenly when something triggered them, and they went go off the deep end.
How do you teach when you’re always afraid of the next outburst? If you’re a parent, it must be difficult to constantly walk on eggshells in your own home.
At some point I’d decided that we couldn’t continue on like this. Something had to change so I did the following five steps to deal with my child who was constantly misbehaving.
Actionable Steps:
#1. Understand Your Child
Take a moment to have some 1-1 time with your child. Really get to know them and learn as much as you can about them. Focus on the following:
- What do they enjoy?
- What bothers them?
- Where did they come from?
- What is their home life like?
- What kind of relationships does this child have?
- How does this child learn best?
- What does it take to get this child to focus?
#2. Spot the Triggers
Once you’ve talked to your child and have established a close relationship with them, talk to them about what’s been bothering them. Why do they constantly get angry? What triggers them?
When I was a teenager, I used blow up at the smallest thing at home. It was because my home life wasn’t the easiest and I needed to be able to control my environment. When something didn’t go according to plan, I would have a meltdown.
Knowing what triggers your child can help them come to you when they need support and it will allow you to be there for them when they need you.
#3. Create a Safe Environment
Create a safe space in your classroom and home for your child to go to when they have big emotions. It will help them self-regulate. In order for them to get to this point though, you’ll need to teach them how to use this space and how to recognize their triggers and emotions.
Instead of teaching it to just one child, teach it to all of your children. You can do it with the following resource:
#4. Show Love
When your child is struggling, don’t let them just self-regulate. Go to them after and talk to them about what triggered them and how they felt. Look at how they’re feeling after they’ve used the space.
If it’s safe to do so, get down to their level, let them know that you’re there for them and that you appreciate what they’re going through. Give them a hug if it’s possible as it will calm down even more.
Recap:
Let’s recap really quickly. Today, we looked at the following:
- The importance of caring for your child who is misbehaving.
- Four simple ways to deal with a child who constantly misbehaves: understand the child, spot the triggers, create a safe environment, and show love.
Free Resources:
The following is FREE. It will show you how to create the space. These resources can be found in my FREE RESOURCE LIBRARY.
Disclaimer: I’m a teacher and a parent. I’m not a medical professional, so please don’t take this as medical advice. The advice that I provide in my videos and online are strategies that I have used in my own class or at home that have worked beautifully.
