How to Help Your Children Manage and Overcome Perfectionism

https://youtu.be/iZ5Ux5sh4wM

Now for those of you who are thinking, what this is all about?

Today, we’re going to delve a bit deeper into the concept of perfectionism. So many of us use that as an excuse to procrastinate.

You heard me right. It’s an excuse. So for those of you who have children who are going through this, welcome.

Will this help all of our students who procrastinate? Absolutely not! There’s no one size fits all because all of our kids are different. The free mini training and the larger one that I’ll talk to you about after will delve deeply into it but today, we’re going to focus on one branch of procrastination.

Wouldn’t it be awesome if you could do a quick 5-10 minute lesson with your children when you get to class. Oh heck yeah! Do you wanna know why it’s important? For those who are struggling with it. You are providing them with a way to let go…. You may be the answer they’re looking for where they’ll get permission to just try and not be perfect.

Many of us say we are perfectionists because once we start a project, we hyper focus on one aspect of it and forget about the rest because we get stuck in trying to make that one part perfect. When it comes time to hand in the assignment, the rest of the project is either incomplete or not done well because it was rushed. The children handing in these assignment hope that you’ll miss the rushed part and focus on the aspect that the child attempted to perfect. That’s not how it works though. That’s not even how real life works.

Instead, we need to teach our kids to “let it go.” This is so important. Remind them that you don’t care about it being perfect because nothing is perfect. What you care about is effort -ongoing and continuous effort.

The best way to complete a project, is to actually to put it out there first and then, when there’s time, to go back and proofread and make changes. This is such a great strategy, right? But it’s harder said than done for many of us and our children.

So, it’s important to continually remind our children that trying to be perfect will stop us in our tracks. We’ll never make it far.

I used to need everything to be perfect and oh my goodness! Not only did it take a lot of effort but it was time away from doing the things I enjoyed as well. As wonderful as everything looked, it sucked the energy out of me. I HATED it.

In fact, in your lesson. Ask your children if they feel this way. They don’t need to answer you but it’ll be food for thought. If this is how they’re feeling, then you my friend need to rock and roll and teach them how to transition from perfectionism to good enough.

Now to the actionable stage of it.

You’re going to find some time… so choose a date and time because you’re going to teach a mini lesson (approximate time because when you’re in school you need to be flexible)
You’re going to give your kids permission to let go and focus on ongoing effort instead of being perfect by explaining to them how it feels and letting them know that you understand.

You’re going to give your children a task and TEACH them how to let go. This is something I’ve tried a number of times in my classroom and it’s worked beautifully. Here’s how to implement it.
- Day 1: You read a book to your kids about a specific topic and they need to take notes.
- Day 2: Review the book, then give them some time to draw about it – it caters to different types of learners and it reinforces the learning.
- Day 3: They need to summarize their learning for you. The key here though, is that you have a timer. During this time, children are not allowed to put their pencils down, nor are they allowed to erase anything. They can cancel it but no erasers or whiteout allowed. They can draw if they are done writing as some may finish a bit early. Those kids who have a need to go back and proofread, are not allowed to put their pencils down to stop writing so the only thing they can do if they feel that need, is to draw.
- Day 4: They can proofread their work. Again. No erasing. They only get to cross it out and write over it.
- Day 5: Final day to proofread and to colour any drawings. At the end of this session, they need to hand this assignment in to you.
Look it over and either write a quick note or conference with them or have a class discussion about anything that may have arisen.

Do this activity a few times a year to create a new habit.

This activity can be used at any grade level and can be used in any class. The reading doesn’t have to be something random. It can be about a topic that you’re covering that day. Make it relevant to your curriculum. You can totally combine both lessons and I highly recommend doing it.

This is relevant now but it’s going to be even more relevant as you get closer to each break and the end of the school year. BUT don’t leave this to the end. Teach your children good habits NOW so that they’re ready to go when you have those pressing deadlines. This is the way my friends. I hope you’ll join me. I’m so excited for you and can’t wait to hear from you.

This lesson is super easy to conduct, the instructions for the kids are very simple so as not to overwhelm anyone and it can take place over the span of one week.

This works if you implement it correctly. I really hope you do it. I would love to hear from you about how it turned out for you and oh my goodness…. If you have pictures of your kids work to share with me, please do so because it would make my heart so happy.

So today, we talked about and really focused the concept of perfectionism as a branch of procrastination.

If you’d like to delve deeper into this topic, come and join this course and our community so that we can really help our children be more productive.