Have you used or “teacher voice” or your “parent voice” and your kids still refuse to listen to you?
Does it feel like the more you try to get your kids to listen, the more they turn away?
The more this happens, the more frustrating it can get for everyone. Often this leads to someone saying something they regret, screaming at each other and uttering words like, ” I HATE YOU” or “I WISH YOU WEREN’T MY MOM / DAD / TEACHER / ETC.” This can be heartbreaking and it can lead to feelings of anger and frustration.
It doesn’t have to be like that.
The following are 4 ways to discipline a child who won’t listen.
Actionable Steps:
#1. Listen Before You Talk
A lot of times when a child doesn’t listen, it’s because they feel as though aren’t heard and don’t have the freedom to voice their opinions.
Instead of focusing on all of the things that your child has done wrong or shouldn’t do, ask them to explain their thoughts.
Why did they do a certain action? What’s blocking them for listening to you?
Listen to what they’re saying even if they’re lashing out at you because through it all, you’ll hear their feelings and thoughts.
#2. Keep Your Cool
When your kids lash out at you, it will be difficult to keep your cool but it’s important that you do it. In the midst of chaos, your kids need to see and feel your calm energy so that they can come down from the height of their big emotions.
Once they are in a better place, it will be easier to talk to them.
#3. Surround Them With Love
If your child is struggling to calm down or is feeling like they don’t matter, show them that you see them and are there for them. Give them a big hug and keep them close to you so that they can feel your love. They may struggle in your embrace for a while but they will gradually calm down and melt into it.
While it may be hard to hold on to them, this will help them come down from their big emotions at a quicker pace.
#4. Teach About Natural Consequences
Once your child has calmed down and you’ve listened to them, it’s time to teach them about natural consequences.
I’m not talking about giving them a time out for not listening to you but explain to them what they miss out on when they don’t listen or what others feel when they’re being disruptive. Overtime, natural consequences worsen. For example, if others see the child as being annoying when they’re constantly interrupting you, they will start to shun the child. That’s really not what we want for them and I’m sure they don’t want it for themselves either.
Most of them time, explaining natural consequences to your child makes an even bigger impact them than punishing them. I’m not saying not to give them a consequence because they may need it, but having this discussion teaches them empathy and allows them to see the impact of their actions.
Recap:
Let’s recap really quickly. Today, we looked at the following:
- The importance of supporting your children through their big emotions.
- Four ways to discipline a child who won’t listen: listen before you talk, keep your cool, surround them love, and teach about natural consequences.
Free Resources:
The following is FREE. It will show you how to create the space. These resources can be found in my FREE RESOURCE LIBRARY.
Next Steps:
If you found this video beneficial, would you do me a favor? Share this with your family, your friends, your loved ones, your co-workers or someone who you think could benefit from this. Thank you!
I’ll see you next Friday at 5:30pm PST.
Until I see you next time, remember to create, experience & teach from the heart.
Take care,
Charlotte
Disclaimer: I’m a teacher and a parent. I’m not a medical professional, so please don’t take this as medical advice. The advice that I provide in my videos and online are strategies that I have used in my own class or at home that have worked beautifully.
