Most children with ADHD and Autism who have angry outbursts rarely do it because they are lazy or not interested in something. It’s usually because of a blend of conditions that challenges them. For example:
- There may be a change to the structure of their predictable routine.
- They may have difficulty communicating their thoughts and feelings or understanding social cues.
- There may be external pressures placed on them such as chores or school work.
- There may be internal pressures like hunger, exhaustion, having trouble sleeping, or sensory or emotional overload.
This is not an exhaustive list but a starting point to explain what might trigger anger in a child with ADHD and autism.
In order to help a child with ADHD and autism who is in the midst of an angry outburst, it’s important to understand the reason behind their anger so that you can provide them with the appropriate tools and support so that they can feel heard, safe and understood.
You can do the following to help your child:
Actionable Steps:
#1. Remain Calm and Clear
Before addressing your child, calm yourself down first. When you are calm, it will help your child regulate as well.
Make sure that they’re safe and then take a deep breath. Approach your child when you’re ready. Remind yourself that your child’s feelings are big because there’s something going on. They aren’t just “acting up.”
When you talk to your child, speak slowly and softly as yelling will only intensify their feelings.
#2. Help them Emotionally Regulate
Create a space in your home or your classroom to help your children learn how to regulate their emotions. Then teach them how to use this space, how to notice their triggers, how to understand their emotions and how to manage it. The point of it is to give them a safe space to meet their individual needs.
If you’d like to learn how to put this space together, how differentiate it to meet your child’s needs and ways to teach them how to use it, check out the following image or CLICK HERE to join ADHD and Autism Self Regulation for a step-by-step tutorial.
#3. Specify Triggers
Take a moment to teach your child how to figure out what caused them to lose control of their emotions. Were they confused by unclear instructions? Was there too much of noise or images around?
This will teach them how to anticipate what will trigger them in the future and work to move away from it. It will also help you notice it and reduce them.
#4. Validate Their Feelings
Teach your children to state their emotion and why they are feeling it. This will give them the courage to voice their thoughts in the moment.
Even though the reason behind their emotions may seem small to you, remember that it’s a big deal to them, so focus on compassion and validate their emotions.
You can state:
- “I see that you’re sad right now. Let’s sit with it for now.”
- “It’s not easy when things don’t go our way. I’m here with you.”
#5. Practice With Social Stories
Show your children how to navigate through different social situations. That way they can learn how to understand and respond appropriately. It’s important to show them how to handle acceptance and rejection as well.
An easy way to do this is by
- Check out my Social Stories Playlist where I will teach your children how to interact with people in different situations and how to make friends.
- Subscribe to my channel so that you are always in the loop when I upload new videos.
- You can also check out additional resources like activity packs or join us inside the I Am Awesome Club.
Recap:
Let’s recap really quickly. Today, we looked at the following:
- The importance of understanding what causes your child to feel angry.
- What triggers anger in a child with ADHD and autism: remain calm and clear, help them emotionally regulate, specify triggers, validate their feelings, and practice with social stories.
Free Resources:
For a taste of the resources that were mentioned in step two, check out the following resource in my FREE Education Resource Library.
Teach your little ones how to make good choices with the following FREE Resource:
Next Steps:
If you found this video beneficial, would you do me a favor? Share this with your family, your friends, your loved ones, your co-workers or someone who you think could benefit from this. Thank you!
I’ll see you next Friday at 5:30pm PST.
Until I see you next time, remember to create, experience & teach from the heart.
Take care,
Charlotte
Disclaimer: I’m a teacher and a parent. I’m not a medical professional, so please don’t take this as medical advice. The advice that I provide in my videos and online are strategies that I have used in my own class or at home that have worked beautifully.
