Many children with ADHD or autism have a difficult time making friends. Having friends, even if they aren’t close friends, is incredibly important to a child’s wellbeing. Imagine trying to make a friend when your focus is on your energy or if you’re hyper focused on an entirely different train of thought. How easy is it to make a friend when you’re struggling to read someone’s facial expressions or body language? This is what many children with ADHD or autism face.
If you have a child who is autistic or who has ADHD who is struggling to make friends, other children around them will likely pick up on it. Some may avoid that child altogether. However, as educators and parents, we can help our children develop the skills necessary to make new friends. Like all good things, this will take time.
In regards to autism, we’ll be focusing on level 1 and 2. If you have a child who is non-verbal, some of these techniques will work for them as well but you’ll have to intervene a lot more than I have outlined in the strategies that follow. Since ADHD and autism are on a spectrum, please make sure to adapt these techniques to suit your child’s needs.
On a side note, please don’t use this article to diagnose any child but use it as a way to help different children in your class or at home.
Actionable Steps:
#1. What Can Be Said
Many children with ADHD or autism struggle with what they should say to others. Teach them how to approach another child and what they should say when they meet them. Walk them through how they can introduce themselves and ask if they can join or play with them. I’d recommend having your kids role play with each other for extra practice. For more information about how to do this, subscribe to my YouTube channel as I will help you walk your children through these steps.
Once you’ve taught specific skills, either watch your children as they interact with each other or follow up with them to see how it went for them. If the child is struggling or is non-verbal, you may need to step in to explain to the other child what’s going on so that they have a better understanding of the child. Doing this will normalize the situation. Some kids will be open to playing with the child while others may not but by stepping in, you not only increase the likelihood of the child making friends, but you’re also modelling how to make a friend to them.
#2. Focus on the Emotions
Teach your kids about what different emotions look and feel like. What would it look like on someone’s face and how would you notice it in their body language? If you’re a teacher, engage in whole class discussions for several lessons. I typically stay on this topic for weeks and then come back to it throughout the year. You can do this at home as well.
Again, if you’d like me to do this with your kids, subscribe to my YouTube channel. Even though you can relax while they learn with me, I’d recommend practicing it with them after as well.
#3. Set Up Play Time
Look at what your kids are interested in and enroll them in different activities. Don’t just put them in everything but actually look at their interests. This is a great way for them to make friends as they’ll be able to bond with others over a shared interest.
If your child doesn’t want to go that route, then look at a couple of kids who might be a good match for the child and set them up as buddies in school or if you’re a parent, have playdates for them at your house or in a public space, like a park. This way you can monitor the interaction and step in when needed. It also removes the pressure of your child having to approach different children; they can focus on enjoying their time instead. It’s one less thing for them to think about and do.
Recap:
Let’s recap really quickly. Today, we looked at the following:
- The reasons why it’s difficult for a child with ADHD to make new friends.
- Three ways to teach children with ADHD or autism how to make friends: what can be said, focus on the emotions, and set up play time.
Free Resources:
If your children are struggling to hand in assignments on time, check out the following video training: 3 Steps to Teach Children How to Overcome Procrastination to Increase Productivity.
Next Steps:
For calm down areas on a budget, for your students who have autism, CLICK HERE.
You’re welcome to join us inside ADHD and Autism Self Regulation by CLICKING HERE or on the fallowing image.
If you found this video beneficial, would you do me a favor? Share this with your family, your friends, your loved ones, your co-workers or someone who you think could benefit from this. Thank you!
I’ll see you next Friday at 5:30pm PST.
Until I see you next time, remember to create, experience & teach from the heart.
Take care,
Charlotte
Disclaimer: I’m a teacher and a parent. I’m not a medical professional, so please don’t take this as medical advice. The advice that I provide in my videos and online are strategies that I have used in my own class or at home that have worked beautifully. Since ADHD and autism are a spectrum, make sure to adapt these strategies for your individual child. Thank you!
