Today we’re going to look at how to get over a break up and heal your broken heart.
Before I continue, if you’re looking to increase your self-confidence, download your FREE guide today, “The Top 10 Ways to Build Self-Esteem & Self-Confidence.”
With the pandemic and people rediscovering themselves. The sad part though, is that there are a lot of people who are breaking up.
Now I’m not a counsellor, but I have been on both ends of a breakup: I’ve been broken up with and I have done the breaking up.
I understand the pain, so I’m not going to be one of those people who tells you to just get over it.
What I am going to tell you is that :
So, let’s face this together.
Here are four steps to help heal and gain control of your life as you gradually move past this pain.
Actionable Steps:
#1: Understand and Engage in The Stages Mentality
Break ups can be overwhelming so let’s break it down into chunks or stages.
Stage 1: The Break up. This is where you’ve gone through the pain and you’ve sat down and uncovered the lesson that you need to learn from it
Stage 2: The Growth Stage: This is where you give yourself permission grow and be a happier and better version of yourself. I’m not telling you to change yourself but I am telling you to ask yourself who you want to be now- separate from that relationship. Where do you want to go with your life?
Moving from Stage 1 to Stage 2 is incredibly difficult. Many of us will want to blame, hold on tighter, try to get that relationship back or just get angry and cry. Having a good cry is part of the healing process but staying in this space indefinitely is not.
Instead, learn from the experience and grow from it.
If your behaviors align with stage 1, you won’t be able to move on, even if you tell yourself that you are. If you’re checking up on that person on social media or trying to get back with them, you won’t be able to move into stage 2.
So, ask yourself who you want to be as an individual, what you learned from your previous relationship and what you’ll take with you into your next one.
#2. Show Some Gratitude
This is hard! I know!
In order to really accept that Stage 1 occurred and to move on to Stage 2, you need to accept it and be thankful for it.
You might think I’m off my rocker here, but I’m not. Stick with me for a moment.
When I moved into the second stage, with every break up, I learned more about myself and I’m so grateful for those experiences.
For example, I learned that I needed the freedom to explore and see where life would take me and therefore didn’t want someone who was overly clingy. I also learned how to manage my emotions in the event of an argument because it’s far too easy to give in to the anger and frustration, and so much more. All of those past experiences have shaped me so that when the time was right, I was open to my husband.
If you’re going through a break up or if you’re children are going through it, I invite you to find the lesson and be grateful for it. Without looking for that lesson, it is far too difficult to be grateful and so easy to stay stuck in stage one.
#3. Be Social
If you’re dealing with a break up, then you were in a social relationship with another person. Yes! It was an intimate one, but it was still social.
So get out there and be social because that will fill the void.
Now I’m not telling you to indulge in a rebound relationship, because that won’t get you very far if you’re still mourning the loss of your previous one. However, you can and should call up some friends and make some plans to meet up. Go have dinner or watch a movie – do something together.
While your friends’ lives are moving forward seamlessly, yours is probably moving by incredibly slowly because time does this funny thing during break ups- it slows down so that your days seem to never end. Get your mind off of the break up by being social.
If you’re saying that you’re not ready, I want to ask yourself about how long you’ve spent moping so far. A week of crying, eating loads of sweets and watching movies is understandable but after that, you need to get yourself up and go out with friends and loved ones.
#4. Develop a Growth Mindset
In step 1, we talked about being in that second stage and growing. Once you’ve gotten yourself up and out and are being social, you need to spend some time growing. Watch educational or personal development videos like this or other ones, listen to podcasts or read books about topics that will help you become a better person and live your best life.
As you grow, not only will you heal faster, but you’ll also start to discover more about yourself and your passions. How awesome, right?
Recap:
Here are the 4 steps that will help you move past a break up and heal your broken heart:
- Understand and engage in The Stages Mentality
- Show some gratitude
- Be social
- Develop a growth mindset
Additional Thoughts:
My hope is that as you heal, and gain momentum, your self-confidence will increase.
Now while this is only a starting point, if you need more support, if you need additional support, download the free guide that’s associated with this video, “The Top 10 Ways to Build Self-Esteem & Self-Confidence.”
Next Steps:
If you’d like to practice gratitude, click the following image and choose the one that is best for you or your children.
If you found this article beneficial, would you do me a favour? Share this with your family, your friends, your loved ones, your co-workers or someone who you think could benefit from this. Thank you!
Until I see you next time, remember to create, experience & teach from the heart.
Take care,
Charlotte
